Some people never learn… or so we say.
The old adage – fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me might be amended to add – fool me three times and I probably deserved it. Jobs, bosses, friends, relationships – we tend to trip over our own mistakes.
Why is it so difficult to learn our lessons?
On one level – fool me once, shame on you – is pretty easy. Bad choice? Read the signals wrong? Miscommunication? Fix it up and move on.
Fool me twice, though, that’s the beginning of a pattern. Is it you? Is it me?
Are we learning anything yet?
Third time and… it’s definitely you. Own it. (And of course, that’s where we get stuck)
Bad habits, old patterns, “just being a trusting person” – these might seem like comfortable shoes, but how are they serving you in your life?
Get out from under the pile of your own bad choices! Make new habits. Make better choices. It’s easy to just hide and say – no way, not going to try that again. Where does that get you ? See each mistake as a learning opportunity. If you’re learning, then you’re making progress.
Try this next time – instead of thinking what’s wrong with me (or them, or us, or this job), ask – what am I learning about myself/about my situation/about my choices/or about other people and their situation/choices?
As the Talking Heads once famously sang, “You may ask yourself… well, how did I get here?” Maybe instead we should be saying – Well, here I am! How interesting! What am I learning? How can I make it better?
You may find that answering that question gets you moving in the right direction again.